Sex and the Really Small Town.
It's amazing what you will watch on TV when your viewing choices are somewhat limited. I live in staff housing at the facility where I intern, and we receive free cable services, such as they are. I try not to complain too much, but I really miss Lifetime, Home and Garden, The Independent Film Channel, BBC America,etc. Most of our channel selections are what I would call "man channels": USA, ESPN, Fox. So I end up watching shows that I never would have otherwise. This is how I was sucked into the vortex of "Sex and the City". I watched one episode and I was hooked. Now this show doesn't really reflect my values, but itis tremendously entertaining. One night my sister called and asked me what I was doing. "Watching Sex and the City", I said. She made some sort of noise that reflected her disgust and retorted, "Don't you know your IQ drops 4 points every time you watch that?" I told her I just wanted to see what fool thing they do next. And that is the primary attraction; that, and getting to look at "Mr. Big". And sometimes (I know this will sound funny to those who may have read my treatise on Cosmo) , but I find myself a little envious of these women. They never seem to run out of "opportunities" for as Carrie puts it, "mindblowing sex". I am a "nice girl", but that doesn't mean I am averse to a little grubbing in the back seat. Every girl needs a little "sugar" (that's southern talk for passionate kisses).
I had sort of stopped thinking of men in such terms. I have been hurt a lot. But lately, I feel that part of me beginning to wake up again. I am still scared of hurt and rejection, and I am still tired of men not treating me as a person, or writing me off as a potential date because I don't fit their ideal. But maybe it's time to take a risk or two. A friend once told me, "if you don't open your heart, you will never find love". My heart has been closed up for a very long time. I have even met a fellow or two, who if they choose to use it, would discover that they have the key. So I have a decision to make. Do I have the courage to jump off the cliff? Will there be someone to catch me? Maybe even little me could write about "Sex and the Really Small Town". So I don't live in Manhattan, and I couldn't even get my little fat feet in a pair of Mahnolo Blahniks ( I'm not sure I can even spell them!). Who cares! Wish me luck, all you potential Carries and Samanthas, Charlottes and Mirandas! And may we find true love; actually, the whole package. Yeah, right! But let's dream a little! Yours, Fannie Ryan